Meanwhile--can you all say--all together now: "KER-FLOOEY!!!"?????
What the heck is happening now?
Here's how it went down.
H texts me about 8 AM, says "Be there 9:30" Ok. so far, so good.
I didn't see it because I was out doing chores, feeding dogs, etc.
So he calls around 9--says: "Hey, did you get my text?'
Me: "Yeah, that you'd be here at 9:30, just saw it."
H: "Well, I wanted to make sure that you left the basement door open, (I always do--forgot ONCE), and I got a new lock for it." (Something I'd asked him if he thought was a good idea yesterday. Guess he did.)
Me: "OK, see you then." ---------------
He actually got here around ten. I heard him down there messing with the lock. I am resting, per doctor's orders, took a hot bath, had some breakfast.
It is SUNDAY, after all, and he's here to HELP, RIGHT???
He is usually here for at least three hours, and lets me know when he's about to leave in case I need him to take the recycling, etc. Just basic stuff. We have been communicating about those things very amicably.
Until today! __________________________________
He was here about an hour and half... I figured, plenty of time here, right?
I get a text a few minutes ago:
H:"Wanna come up see the guys get trash and then go get animal food."He means: NOW.
Me: "I'm still resting, can you give me 30 minutes?"
H:"Then go in the bedroom and I'll leave you alone."
(I almost called my DBing lifeline, thinking "WTF????")
Me:"Sorry, I really need 30 minutes"
H: "No." H:"C U tomorrow."
Me:"That's up to you."
So--no danger of any R talk today!
And I really wanted to add:"No. You're 'not a bully'..."
---------------------------------------------
Clearly, GUBU is back in full force, and that glimmer of my formerly caring H I saw last night has gone into the dark place again.
Probably the lock was a bust---he gets really angry at his inability to do things he once did effortlessly. I'll check that out later. (What is really needed is a new door, not a new expensive lock put on an old broken door, but I STFU about that when I realized that was his plan.)
I REALLY felt like he was bullying me, because he was. Being very bossy and disrespectful. He basically got angry when he heard the word "NO".
Even if it was unspoken. Just like a child! ----------------------------------
He has done this before, with the "I WANT, I WANT, ME-ME-ME....NOW-NOW-NOW!!!!" Gets angry if I don't give him what he wants when he wants it. Not all the time, but sometimes. This comes and goes. And I always respond the same. I set limits and stick to them.
I make him wait, ask.. I will not be told what to do by a GUBU nut. He is doing the same thing again that he's been doing recently, trying to pull the "Big Boss Man" card and treat me like an employee. Well, it ain't happening!!!!! Which of course, p*ssed him off further. No doubt solidifies how awful I am in his mind. I don't cave in to every whim and desire, not like OW did. SHE made him HAPPY!!!! At his beck and call. Of course she was--HE was HER BOSS!!!
Guess he likes it like that: "Who's your Boss-Man Daddy??"
Not you, GUBU. Definitely NOT you...
-------------------------------------
I have asked before that he only need give me a head's up, that he is welcome to see the dogs any time... He has been doing this consistently, but today...
I wonder if he's afraid? Afraid that my "problem" will be something that he fears...? Like maybe I want to speed up the D, that I have a boyfriend, that I know one of his secrets, that I am really sick and that will put a monkey wrench into his fantastic fun times...who knows?
But anyhow. No. He can't come up THIS VERY MOMENT. I'm in a towel, putting on lotion...
But I don't need to spend one word defending myself from craziness!!!
A "Roller-Coaster" doesn't begin to cover it! --------------------------------
Here I am preparing for what might be some type of connection, and he is furious and clearly trying to push my buttons and control me, maybe sabotage the discussion he'd offered to have. Who knows? He came off as pretty angry though, drove off in a huff. Whatever.
On the up-side. I find I'm feeling pretty detached about it. Relieved that I don't have to do it today and I get to prep more.
I still have the same issues which need to be addressed, still need to ask/get additional support so I can stay well and move through this journey in one piece.
Any discussion with him will have to wait until another time, if ever.
Since I am NOT a mind-reader, (although I do like to play one on TV from time to time), all I know for sure is that something is making him uncomfortable, and lashing out at me seemed like a solution to him.
He may have made a mess of the lock, was angry at himself, and wanted to leave to go be miserable. Oh well. Not my problem!
I do know--it's nothing I did. It's ALL HIM. ----------------------------------------
In the past, sometimes he would apologize for behaving like this, lately, he doesn't do that.
He was trying to get X by doing Y.
Don't think it worked for him though.
I have learned not to take the bait.
He may have an arsenal of weapons at his disposal, but I have all the ammunition!
And so it goes, DBing pals.
Another day, another crazy scene at the Triple GGG Ranch!
----GGG
Me 54 Him 63 M 23 T 29 0 Kids Funny Farm of Rescues 12/12 OW-- 5/13 ILYBINILWY: A denied 9/13 Proof OW: ENDED 2/14 Got D papers on my BD I kicked him out for my sanity 9/14 He wants to "talk"?
