The few glimpses I saw of old H this week were very nice. Deep down I knew it wasn't going to last. Trying to focus on the positives of having the opportunity to spend time with him, but struggling.
But,
I have to remember this isn't about me. I didn't break him, and I can't fix him.
I have to remember he is "sick" and incapable of too much.
I have to remember to let the A die a natural death.
I have to remember that this is a marathon.....
I have to get my Gameplan ready and into action.
I have to move forward, and stop focusing on whether H is going to catch up or not.
I have more detaching to do. More GAL.
^^^^^^^^ I write all of that today and I feel like I'm lying to myself and I'm not buying what I'm selling.
I'm just so far off. So, soooooooo far off. I feel I'm failing.
I don't have the energy to get going today, and pick myself up and deal with kids, job hunting, bills, groceries, cleaning... My life. I don't want to deal with my life.
SOOOOOOO..... I see I just made reservations for one.
"Pity Party of one, your table is ready. Pity Party of one?"
