Just an update...I thought long and hard today and I came to a decision. As wonderful as these past couple of weeks with WAW have been, as much as they felt so right, as much as we love each other...I had to put my foot down. I told WAW today that all of this rekindled passion and love we are sharing is really for nothing as long as she still plans this Florida move. I told her I think it's best we just stop, stop pretending everything is okay between us. It isn't going to do either of us any good if we're not reconciling. So I cut things off. I feel this is best, to nip this in the bud and just stop it all.
I told her to always know that I tried to save us, with every ounce of my being I tried, but that I am exhausted from fighting and that I am surrendering, that I have no more fight left in me if only one of us is fighting. I told her we should just let it go at this point.
I need to see a real initiative on her part or we just need to stay away from each other. That's how I see it. We've tried to stay away several times over the past couple weeks but ever since the court date for the divorce obviously we both failed. Either she'd contact me to get together or I would contact her, things would get out of hand passionwise...we were both at fault for allowing things to happen that have.
So that's where I'm at, I'm sick and tired of pretending everything is good between us. All of it means nothing unless we're trying to get back together. I told WAW that if that's not the case, and it isn't as long as she plans this move to FL, that it stops now. She understood and said she's sorry for letting me down, that she has to make this move for her and that she will always love me and always respect me and that if I ever needed her for anything at all to please contact her. I didn't reply to her last message and I'm not going to. Time to go back to NC and back to my own life and give up the ghost, I've had enough. I know she'll regret this one day, but I just don't have anything left in my gas tank to fight with...I'm tired of it and I just need to stop now.
So that's it folks, that's where I'm at. I figured I might as well stop delaying the inevitable. So WAW and I are done. I feel I did the right thing, as hard as it was, I really think I did the right thing.
This is you 3 days later...
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I suppose you are right. I should keep dating her. I am just so used to going NC when things start to look bleak. I do indeed see her out of her "fog" now, at least as it pertains to me. You make some great points. I mean at this point what have I got to lose? As you say, if she moves either way...with me in NC or me dating her...she still moves...so she might as well have something to miss. You're right, I don't think me ignoring her will help at this point.
Maybe this is why people who know WAW are telling me to spend time with her now. Two months ago she avoided me like the plague, now she is receptive to hanging out. I do have a birthday coming up and I am willing to bet she will have contacted me for that anyway. I guess now I have to eat crow and contact her. As you say what have I got to lose? You hit the nail on the head in one area...WAW herself said that's one of her fears...that she's worried if she stays she will eventually have resentment towards me for not trying this move.
I think what you are saying is that I need to make sure I remain a big factor in her mind...and by going NC for the next 6 weeks before she leaves is probably not the best way to do that. She will only have another reason to get the hell out of Dodge. Plus there's still so much more she needs to see. She has been blown away by how different she knows things would be with us...and she's only gotten a tiny taste of that so far.
So I think my plan of attack now is to figure out a subtle way to get in contact with her and start going out again. My initial NC plan was to let her stew over the fact that she's thrown "the new us" away again in favor of this move, but if she feels that's what she needs to do as strongly as she does, as you say, there's nothing I can do to change that anyway. It's a do or die situation at this point. I will ponder today over how to best go about this and I will keep you all posted.
ItHurts...
I understand that emotions can be all over the place in these situations.... I really do..
I hope you try to understand that women aren't always attracted to men who don't have great control of their emotions... One day breaking up and no contact and then a day or so later calling wanting to date.. then ending it, then starting up again...
Please get a grip on your emotions here.
I want you to consider that if you decide to go NC again, that you don't TELL her that. That way you won't look so unstable emotionally if (when) you change your mind again.
You seem to be more emotional than your woman. Women like and respond to emotional strength. Please stop being wishy washy...
