Hi Everyone and happy Saturday! Well, had an odd experience tonight. W called. She NEVER calls. For some background, I haven't spoken to my W about the IRS audit. The reason being she never had anything to do with taxes and she has a tendency to really freak out and I didn't want her freaking out and getting involved when all she would do is worry and give me grief. I figured I would send the IRS the info they asked for and wait until I heard back before I told her. Either that or bring it up with the lawyer. The last thing I needed was her making things even worse!
So she called to tell me she got a notice from the IRS about the taxes and she was really worried. She said it was addressed just to her at her new address. That is odd as I have been getting all the notices because my name was always on top and it was a joint return. First weird thing....she wasn't angry, wasn't giving me grief. She was actually calm and when I explained that I had already taken care of what they asked about she was very cool about the whole thing. I told her I didn't want to worry her and that I was waiting until I heard back from them before telling her as there is nothing that can be done until then. I also told her I had spoken to someone about a tax attorney we could get if we end up needing one! All she said was that I probably should have told her about it but in a (and this is the oddest part) NICE WAY! No anger. No telling me how it must have been all my fault. Very odd.
Next weird thing. She told me that she had been at a course all day with her friend from work (Continuing Ed. for her work) and she had just now gotten her mail and called right away. This is odd because for the last year or more she would NEVER feel it was any of my business where she was or who she was with. She told me what the course was about and it was something she had been looking into getting a special certification in last year. I asked her about that and she said that her work won't let her do that now because they have cut back on paying for courses and she would have to pay $5,000 out of pocket to do it. Again, she was being nice, telling me about her life, etc.
I told her that her mom had called and that she wanted our D14 to help her Monday and I wanted to give her a heads up. (D14 is with me but goes back to her place tomorrow). She said that she had gotten a call from her mom but she didn't answer because she was watching a movie and didn't want to stop to talk to her. OK, now she's telling me what she is doing, weird! She made some small talk about having ants and that her friend and her had been eating ice cream and spilled some and now there are ants every where. She also asked if I wanted to meet tomorrow so she can get D14 and was really open about when and where.
As soon as the talk slowed down, I made sure to be the one to say good-bye first (DB 101) and she said "See you tomorrow" in really nice way. So, suddenly my W is being nice. She was even nice about the IRS thing when I know if it had happened while she was living here she would have been screaming bloody murder! She talked about what she is doing and where she was. Again, she was like a teenager before and would rather die before explaining where she was or who she was with!
I know that this means nothing has changed. It's just a blip of being "decent" and she will be going back to to her old self soon. It was just so nice to have an actual convo. with her that didn't include her telling me how awful I am or why I should give her something she wants or how she had to leave me or spend the rest of her life sleeping on the couch and hating her life. She didn't disagree with everything I said, didn't act like it was a chore to speak to me, didn't ask for anything from me. She sounded more like my old W than she has in ages.
Part of me is glad. I'm also glad I was able to DB and end the call first. Part of me isn't and it just makes me miss my old W even more! Who knows why she was like this and I won't waste time any time trying to figure it out. Let's hope that maybe, just maybe, she is starting to no longer feel the need to blame me as much as she has been! One thing I can say...I'm starting to detach more for sure. I couldn't have had this convo. with her without freaking out or thinking it meant more than it does just a month ago. That's good. Now, if only I didn't have to fight her about D14's custody.......
