I now see what you mean when you put up that quote from Dev earlier. Yes, this does make a difference.
Train,
That is the boundary we worked on when we focused on around you and the kids at the marital home. Fortunately, it worked! In this case, Dev's wife is out of the house. So that is a bit more challenging.
Watto,
I think your approach probably would work best for Dev.
Just say that the kids have expressed concern about your wife spending too much time away from them with phones as it diverts her attention away from them. That way, you're not telling your wife not to text the OM, but rather frame it as the kids being bothered by it as they want to spend quality time with their mom.
