MY TRAGIC WAW STORY PART III

[ItHurts]

Thanks Big Mac! Yeah this stuff that lead to OM though we both know would never happen again. We both clearly know where we went wrong and wouldn't ever allow the other to fall into those ruts again. So that part doesn't worry me. She has told me she's not even sure she'll like it down there...she said she's scared. She said she could come running back here for all she knows. Trouble is her best friend that she's moving in with is also a divorcee...but she also drink a lot and WAW isn't a big drinker at all...bars aren't really her scene and that's where her friend likes to go all the time. So My feeling is she won't last long down there...but that could still be 6-8 months down there and I just don't know if I have enough gas left in my tank to endure that.

I will say I am finding that all people are different so no WAW is the same as another. So it's hard to apply a general set of rules that apply to all WAWs. You kind of have to know the person who is the WAW to really gauge certain things. My WAW is somewhat better, but she now has so much regret over letting our marriage end so fast. She is ashamed of OM who turned out to be a liar and just a nasty person...he is a junkie/alcoholic. So she is shamed. Whenever she would reflect on the many decisions she made that I myself questioned two months ago she kept saying to me "WTF was I thinking? WHAT WAS I THINKING?!" So she is in a bad place as far as her view of herself goes. She did try to hurt herself a couple weeks back which was really the catalyst that connected us again and led to all that's happened the past two weeks...her texting, her sleeping here, the kisses, the passion, etc etc etc. She said "If I knew then what know now!" So she made it clear to me that a new conflict was created within her because of me.

I also found out she brought a flower to the mutual friend who reached out to me. She was grateful because we "were together" if only for a couple days. That hasn't happened since before the bomb and I think it threw a kink in her plan...even thought she seems to fighting that...or so I am told by people that know her. Those days and nights with me threw her for a loop I'm told and woke her up to some degree.