Another strange day today. D came home after two days "at her dad's" (I hate typing that out it sounds horrible). I missed her so much it hurt. H said he needed to gather a few of his things and walked around the house gathering things like the juicer, other things but I have no idea what they are. He's here charging his car but in the studio.
I took D to go look at bikes (her #1 request for her 7th birthday this coming Saturday). I took her and ended up buying one. I texted H to let him and know and he told me he'd have preferred to be there. I felt terrible. It totally looked like I did that on purpose but I didn't. He was cool about it later on but I should have considered that. I'm just confused about how much family time we're spending together. He "drops" our D off and hangs out in the kitchen for 30 minutes while D and I catch up, says he wants to check out the sprinklers (which he NEVER did while we were living together), hangs around, notices I've moved furniture around to replace stuff he took to his place. I'm trying to detach but be kind but I kind of want to say, "dude, why are you here?" I don't know. Maybe I'm looking at this all wrong and now I fear I messed up big time by not inviting him to help pick out a bike with D.
Next week we go to Disneyland to celebrate D's birthday (instead of a big party). Two full days, over night in a hotel, standing in lines, heat, sun... with H. I need to work on my detaching without being cold. He loves to chit chat about everything and anything but I have a hard time seeing past the big pink elephant in the room. Advice here? It's like I'm still his wife, and he wants that, but we live apart. I find it weird and uncomfortable.
I removed wedding photos from the walls and went to hang other photos up but I needed a hammer from the garage. I think he took it because I couldn't find it but I did find a silver frame that I had engraved and gave to him for our first wedding anniversary with a photo of the two of us exchanging vows. It used to sit on his desk in the studio. I found it under a bunch of crap in the garage. That hurt.
