Doing all right

[Notlikingthis]

Bright,

Just caught up with you here. Your h isn't angry at you, he's angry because his life isn't the way he thought it would be when he left. They think the grass will be greener (with or without an ow) and as Job said)they lash out at whomever is closest. As difficult as it is, ignore it and let it go.

You can't blame yourself for ANY of what he is doing now. If it was such an awful marriage and he felt it was all YOUR fault, do you think he would still be married to you? Wouldn't he have just headed straight to an attorney's office and filed for D? LOL Yeah, he's still not sure that he wants to be alone. Look at what my h did...filed for separation but then didn't want to fill out any paperwork to keep it moving along. Some of them just need more time than others to get through this.

I'm happy to read that you are doing well in your job. It's a good distraction and an ego booster as well!

I hope you don't mind if I hijack your thread for an update, Bright...

I'm hesitant to post on my own thread because I now have even more reason to believe that my h may be reading here. He's using too many of the terms that are all over this forum to be a coincidence. He told me yesterday that he doesn't know how else to get through to ow that HE IS FINISHED with her without hitting her upside the head with a 2X4 and then later said that he has gone DARK on her because blah, blah, blah. Oh, and a few weeks ago there was a comment on distancing and pursuing.

He has begun to wake up. I'm not certain but some of the well timed comments and a few of the seeds that I planted may inspired him to pay closer attention to the ow motives. I wouldn't suggest that anyone try this because it could very easily have given him cause to run even further away from me. I had come to a point where I didn't really care what happened any longer. I have always known that I'll be okay without him but haven't given up because of the connection that we had and continued to have through his mlc. I took the chance after seeing that he was growing weary and it seemed that the fog was beginning to lift.

He's also admitting to mistakes, testing to see if I've truly moved on, being extremely attentive, polite and he has withdrawn the separation. I see the changes in him. They're very subtle but they are there. He has a very long way to go and could just as easily turn to a new ow. I have ZERO expectations and continue along on my own journey.

Bea, I went looking for your new thread and couldn't find it???
I can't imagine what it's going to take to get your h to realize that you don't owe him anything and that you don't want him in your life!

Job, I gave my h a key to the garage so that he can "put a few pieces of yard equipment back" but along with those tools came brown grocery bags with clothing and miscellaneous items that one wouldn't normally store in a garage. He joked a bit about staying in the guest room if things get too tense at the other house, to which I have not responded. I'm still sitting on the curb watching to see how this ow drama ends.