barely holding on - 2

[u-turn]

I feel a little dumb that I have made mistakes that some of the vets have warned me of. I think this is due to fact that I may be acting like I am detaching instead of actually detaching. I am not giving up. I don't have any other ideas.

I still have a very hard time letting go of the feeling that I am waiting for this to end and we can start over. I am usually a person that completely plans for (and almost expects) the worst to happen so I am usually pleasantly surprised that something positive happens. It's how I get through most of my stressful times (it helps me focus and work harder).

This weekend's goal, though it seems small. keep a pleasant look on my face, PMA, do not engage in any conversation with W about us or her or me. That's it - baby steps for me.

It will seem like I am just playing her game, because that is exactly what she is doing (act like there are no issues, pleasant look, no conversation about anything except work, weather, blah blah).(funny - in ways she seems to be doing a much better job at DBing than I am). I've read in other posts that there is "mirroring" and I see this to a point.

Thanks for everyone's help