KGirl - 7 months later...

[KGirl]

From time to time I do think to myself "well, he hasn't said yet that he's starting the divorce, so there's hope" but I don't even know if that means anything anymore. He's a procrastinator. And he said before that he didn't want to hurt me. So I do wonder if his mind is made up but just hasn't gotten around to pulling the trigger yet/is trying to figure out how to do so in the nicest way possible. Blech. Yeah, I'm not really sure what would be a good strategy about communicating with him, besides only keep it to bills and logistics (things that absolutely have to be asked about or shared). Without kids, once the financials are all squared away there'd be zero reason to communicate with him in the future after the D so there's no need to keep an amicable relationship. He will actually fall off the face of "my" earth! I know I'm not supposed to keep score and I'm not sure if this is what that is, but I also don't want to share a bunch of stuff about my life/me and then he shares nothing. We've also had this dynamic for a long time where I'm more open and want to share and want HIM to share and to have access to things (email, his phone, etc.) and then he gets more and more closed off and feels like I'm prying, or don't trust him, or asking too many questions (I think this is where the defensiveness of "none of your business" comes from). I don't want to create something where he thinks it's OK for me to continue to be so open and it's OK for him to continue to be closed off and secretive.