Exactly - you are perceived in a certain light. Change will likely make them uncomfortable.
I try and avoid 'should' - it is your decision about your daughter's welfare, and unless they step up to the plate and help out, financially or practically, then they need to back off!
Honestly I had the same issues with my brother - I wasn't the sort of person he wanted for a sister. Except now he does, and we are fine, although I am always cautious. I detached, dropped the rope, Like I said, DBing works on family too!
