OK - maybe it would be good to impress on your d20 the idea of family solidarity - you and her and d11. And what is so bad about playing with your kids?
I understand that Smokey has been burning through money. Maybe you can get some of the divorce settlement up front? I assume you are in a state that splits assets? and takes out money frittered away by one partner?
I don't have anyone except my kids, and a brother. My mother, father, sister and all my aunts and uncles are dead, and they were childless, so no cousins. I get that part. Means I have had to be super careful about money. Now all my sons have finished their education and training and have jobs that is a huge pressure lifted.
Figure out how much you need to get re-started in a new job. It can't be that much surely? A reasonable car and a deposit on somewhere to live, and the first month's living expenses, and after that - well you could make it. Everyone else has to.
It isn't easy having a child with Aspergers, and a MLC spouse.
Like I said, imho they need to have this view of you to feel good about themselves.
I am sure your d20 could get a job, too which would help.
