Ready!!! Confuse Theeeeeeeeeeeee....(Pause)...CAT!

[LoisB]

Thank you Bea, that helps.

I'm going to be talking to Lil Heather a lot today. :-)

Now, how are you going to handle the family day at your father's and why did you get into this?

We bought these tickets to a pop concert for D11. She is absolutely besotted with this band. Her whole room is covered in pictures. Things have been so bleak and the concert gave her something to look forward to and divert her from other stuff.

My dad's house is halfway from my house to the concert (about 4.5 hours total). D11 is taking a friend and I like the idea of having a stopping point before driving my ol' car that far.

I'm going to use this time to observe and study...taking a tip from Goatgal. I will USE this time to see the interactions.

They say the same things Smokey does...which means I have twice the rejection and blame. I can feel it inside...the struggle...maybe they are right? Maybe?

The shame is what gets me. I was in a terrible situation financially and still am. I have a car with 200,000 miles, yadda, yadda, yadda...and I have had to ask for my dad's and my mom's help over the years time and time again, and, now...I don't know. I know it's the shame that keeps me from talking to them. That and something else. Knowing it will build when I hear the pity, disappointment, shame in THEIR voices.

To learn that my sister and D20 were talking about how my sis called and I was playing Mario with the girls and she judged...it all just hurts.