GGG, I am glad you are safe, and I know what it is like to be wrestling with something that needs two people when you are only one person and not a large one! The temptation is to be angry with the other person for not being there, for putting us in this situation. But what if he were sick? He isn't going to wake up because you had a close call. I had cancer and my xh didn't 'wake up'
I wonder if part of your personal journey is to be doing something different? A real 180 for you, and not simply with regard to your relationship.
You mentioned that GUBU pays all the bills. I sat there, literally stunned for some time. Did I read that right? The way everyone sets up their relationship is their own affair, but I am older than you and simply cannot imagine this state of affairs.
Why not get estimates for an automated feeding system? We have to accept they are gone - sometimes they are permanently gone and sometimes it is temporary. The more independent we are of them, the better decisions we will make regarding our long term future. If our financial affairs, and business affairs are heavily intertwined, it is good to start unwinding them earlier rather than later, particularly if they go off on a prolonged spending spree at some point, or even go AWOL, leaving us with unpaid bills.
A lot of the things my xh and I did together formed part of the glue of our relationship. Now I am realising I want something different from life.
Like the lovely Wonka, I do not have pets, because they are a tie I do not need. I raised three children, and I love not being responsible for anyone else. Doesn't mean I don't care.
The challenge is re-imagining our lives. This is hard to do after investing many many years with one person, but the reality is they may not sort themselves out. Sometimes the MLCer wakes up and the LBS is long gone.
I could have had some sort of r with my xh, but wholly on his terms. Not enough. I want something better than that. Exclusivity for a start!!
