Wife Is Continuing Affair-When Do I Start LRT?-V

[Train]

Yeah. I thought more on this last night. And today. I'm a little torn on it.

If I could do things over, I would have probably told my H that S8 was expressing concerns about the texts he was seeing ... and about watching H be obsessive in texting his new girlfriend. And as my son's mother, I would ask that H took all measures necessary to protect our son from the ugly reality of H and OW. (But I would have said this in an unemotional way; not using the word "ugly." ).

There's the issue of your W texting OM. You can't say crap about that, unfortunately, because she's a grown woman and that's her life. To try to interfere with that would be controlling. Which makes this a moot point because you already know it.

But then there's another issue: the kids. If the texting is bothering them to the point they are verbal with you about their hurt/anger? Yeah ... I think it's maybe time, as a parent, to step in if they are too young or intimidated to question/confront their own mom about it. You wouldn't be asking her not to text OM - just to take extra care to protect your children from seeing it or being around it.

I kinda wish I WOULD have had that convo with my H early on. And I sort of feel I contributed to my S8's exposure of the texts - and their content - because I *didn't*. But I know you aren't questioning (at least from what I'm reading) your kids' exposure to the actual texts, so take that into account with what I'm writing here.

I later told H not to text OW in front of or around the kids and me (thanks for helping me write that boundary, Wonka, when Starsky was away and left me to the sharks! .... Oh, relax, Starsky! I'm KIDDING!!!! .)

But I wish I would have interjected before. I think - even when my H's brain was in LaLa Land, he still would have realized that the texting in front of the kids - and certainly leaving texts on the phone for S8 to see (especially considering the texts were X-rated, and we hadn't even had "the talk" with S8) - was not cool.