I have not read the all of your threads, but I notice one post in "Piecing" that was like a year to date you registered. I have pasted it below.


Quote:
HELP! PLease!! I need some support, advice or encouragement.
I feel I have no one else to ask.
Things have been going quite well here at our house. Everyday I still decide I have to forgive. IT is coming easier to me.
Anyway, I went out to lunch with a gfriend the other day. SHe proceeded to tell me things about my H before he came home and how it all went down.
Of course, much of it did not line up with what H told me and how it came about that he decided to come home. Also, some of the info she gave me hurt obviously but also gave some kind of window into their relationship that he didn't portray to me. This is hard.
In my mind I am sure I have tried to make sense out of their R (OW)and believing some things are just my way of coping with it.
Well, I asked H about what she told me. He heard me out and denied it all. Said his truth has not changed. If I push at all he gets very mad at me. Please remember this is all Before he came home. But, yet I feel like -did he lie from the minute he walked back into our door??
He said how is relevant to now anyway. He thinks it shouldn't matter.
I don't like his anger. It doesn't seem justified in my mind. I am not worried about him seeing OW. But, man, did this open some old wounds. Ouch.
HElp please. I need help sorting this out. There is a voice in my head saying - would it have been easier to have gotten D?
That is not what I want but I don't feel very loved right now.


I read some posts after this and he was displaying behavior that caused you feel he was lying about a bank statement and he would not show it you.

Then your recent posts of his behavior and returning to the bar. Does you H attend AA meetings?

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!