You mean like me leaving my French lace thong undies "accidentally" drying on the deck where GUBU was destined to come across them while I was gone???
"Not TOO obviously a ploy.... nahhh...."
You go, girl!
---GGG
Me 54 Him 63 M 23 T 29 0 Kids Funny Farm of Rescues 12/12 OW-- 5/13 ILYBINILWY: A denied 9/13 Proof OW: ENDED 2/14 Got D papers on my BD I kicked him out for my sanity 9/14 He wants to "talk"?
Thx GGG! Sending you some virtual zucchini brownies!
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
Ohhh...you gals are onto something with all this thong talk. I am totally going to figure out a way to work this into the mix. Maybe a really large charge to Victoria's Secret on our joint cc? And then leave the VS bag somewhere H can see??
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
I continue to be amazed by how up and down my moods are. Is this typical?
Early yesterday I felt yucky but by the end of the day I was in a really good place. Took the kids to a party at D4's preschool and they had a blast. Sometimes these things can be tough bc typically H and I would go together but he decided not to go, interestingly it didn't really bother me. Last night I just really enjoyed relaxing at home with the kids. We have lots of fun plans this weekend I'm looking forward to.
I'm sure at some point my mental state will take a dip. Since I have the kids all weekend I'll wonder if H is with OW. Can't help but wonder. At some point I will check the CC again. I've definitely decided that if I start to see evidence that he is with OW again I'm going to contact my lawyer and start seriously getting my ducks in a row to file. It's just too much deception for me, I can't see ever getting over it and trusting him again.
Regardless, I'm doing everything I can to figure out how to move on by myself. I'm starting to track my expenses very closely so I know exactly what I can afford on my own and possibly negotiate for H to help pay for the house (right now I just have a very rough budget). I have a bunch of appointments lined up to get general maintenance done on the house and a friend coming next weekend to help me with the yard. Focusing on taking control is definitely empowering. Everyone thinks I'm just 'waiting' for H to decide. Nope, not at all, I'm using this time wisely.
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
Feeling more and more like I can make it and be happy on my own. I hope this feeling starts to persist more consistently, it tends to come and go.
H and I exchanged a few chatty texts and I feel mostly ambivalent about it. Wondering if that feeling will start to persist as well. Probably not as soon as I have to see him again.
Looking forward to plenty of GAL with the kids this weekend!
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
Documenting some more really odd and I believe suspicious behavior by H.
Was texting him last night and he was taking a while to reply -- as I mentioned previously, this is very atypical behavior. Finally, he stopped replying entirely at about 10pm. He texts me this morning and says 'sorry, I fell asleep.' H never goes to sleep at 10pm, he's usually up until at least midnight - 1am!
I have a couple of house questions for him and replied to his 'sorry I fell asleep' text with 'R U free to chat? I have a couple of quick questions for you' Again, he is taking a LONG time to reply (still hasn't yet, actually). VERY unusual.
I'm not doing anything, not reacting. Just have my sensors on high. If I speak to him I am absolutely going to be SWEETER than honey!!! I will be checking the CC regularly. I'm certain he will eventually get sloppy if he's with OW and charge something that will make it obvious. Ugh!
My brother in law is coming over this am to prune some trees! So lucky to have so many people helping support me.
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
Update: so finally spoke to H. I think in fact he may not be with OW as I was fearing, apparently he has some more major work issues. I think he may really be struggling with his new role at work, lots of new things to deal with and learn. We had another really good light, airy chat. We even chatted about what I could bake him next
I called him to let him know my brother in law would be chain sawing some trees and was he ok with that, did he have any opinions, etc? I think he was impressed that I'm taking control of so much house stuff. Typically I would fret and complain that stuff is not getting done, now I'm just dealing with it myself. A great 180.
So glad that I'm learning to take a breath, document my suspicions here and NOT react to H. Of course I will continue to check things like CC regularly. Trust but verify.
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
"Documenting some more really odd and I believe suspicious behavior by H. "
You're beginning to be very paranoid. You have to let part of that go. Not to completely trust him, but you have to start giving him the benefit of the doubt or else you're never going to move on.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
