Sandi, that is exactly it. Our separation was a therapeutic separation her words not mine, designed to strengthen our relationship and help us to relearn some positive behaviors. Early on we started MC, but unfortunately, she stopped going as the counselor started identifying things that she may had done to push me away. We still were piecing at that stage but she got cold feet as she felt as though the relationship wouldn't change.
During these last few months, divorce has been something that she has talked about. It has come up during normal conversations and not just heated arguments.
So hearing dating come up is the ultimate sign that she is intending to move on. I don't put the boundary in place to control her. Rather it is one that I have established because I know I would hold it over her head, whether I would like to or not if she did date and then months or years later we reconciled.
Not to mention, if she began dating her friend that she has been bringing around our kids, it wouldn't send a healthy image to them either.
My wife has a difficult past, and I know that she bases her happiness/security on how others feel about her rather than from an internal self confidence or a spiritual sense of self worth from God.
I love my wife and I want my marriage and family restored. I however know that I have to establish my own line in the sand as to what I would tolerate and what I wouldn't. If she wants to move on I cannot stop her and I realize that. I also know that as I detach (maybe out of a position of pain), that I am strong enough and confident that I will weather the storm.
Like you said, I will be tested, and I will continue to pray for strength and lean on my faith.
