Wow interesting discussion, I'm still trying to find the silver lining, the "purpose" to all that I've been put through by the person I trusted the most. Sure, I realized that there were things that I needed to wake up about, things about myself I needed to learn. It's just that those same lessons could have been learned in ways that didn't hurt me, my kids, my family. Nothing about my M was so very bad that if my w would have just been honest, just a little willing to try, they couldn't have been overcome. I see so much hard work and sacrifice just wasted because my W has become a different person, one with no morals, no values that she once lived by. I see abusers like her father, who for 30 years treated her with disrespect and indifference now destroying my family just like he did his own and getting what he wants, his D back in his life, on his terms. I see my D's having to live with the consequences of the actions of the person they should have been able to count on most, their mother.
I see good people hurt and "bad" people prosper. I've watched someone who I trusted and respected and thought the world of scheme against me and purposely hurt me. Someone who was such an awful liar turn into one who lies with ease. Worse, into someone who has started to believe her own lies!
Maybe some day, in the future, I may find that something good has come from this. Maybe I'll find someone who I'm better suited to spend what's left of my life with. Maybe my D's will learn to be more self sufficient and independent. Maybe I'll find a different purpose for my life. Who knows? But for right now I just can't see anything at all good that has come from or may come from my sitch. I just have to hope that the future will bring that silver lining, that realization that something good has come from the pain and the hurt and the grief.Until than I will just have to keep looking for it and kleep the hope that someday it will reveal itself to me.
