Hi Nitty, Let me get this right...HE filed for D just 10 days ago and now he sends you a text that says HE wants to fix the M? That's right up there when right after B-day, you ask to "work" on the M and they say "I have tried" but can't say what exactly they tried or what they "worked" on! Has he ever said that he was willing to try and "fix" the M before? Sounds like maybe he is starting to see that he's not going to come through this D with everything he thought he would. I know my W still thinks she will be able to call the shots with our D14, keep all the stuff she wants, not pay any CS or SS and just "allow" me to live in "our" house until D14 turns 18 and then get half of the value. At the same time she has refused to even go to one MC session, has no real reason for ending a 21 year M other than she doesn't want to be M any more, doesn't care that she's hurting the kids ("they'll get over it") and at the same time thinks that the court will side with her on every detail!
I'm not sure how I would respond to that text, Nitty. I would love to know what ideas he may have on how to go about "fixing" it, that's for sure. Probably something along the lines of he gets to have OW, you just take care of everything and settle for whatever HE decides he is willing to give. There, M fixed!
I know how you feel about wanting that really great person that they used to be back. Really, I do. For most of our 26 years together I loved and respected my W greatly. That person is either gone for good or buried so far down that it will take a long time for them to come back out. Even if that did happen the old H is gone and the person that they become won't ever be the same. Protect yourself Nitty. Go into mediation knowing you tried everything you could to make the M work and you deserve what you want as much as or more than your H. Hold your head up high knowing that you tried, you were a good W. You didn't break him. Always remember that!
