Hi Triple G, I'm so glad you're feeling better! All I could think while I was reading your posts was how I have felt exactly the same way for many of the same reasons. No matter what anyone may say, we have every right to feel the way you did. We have been hit hard by the person who we trusted and cared for the most, many of us knew that there was something wrong going on and had been trying long before B-day! Heck, I even got myself "fixed" just a couple years before my W wouldn't even need to worry about getting preg. (she's 47, not much longer before that worry goes away) because she said that she would "feel better" if I did. I figured why not? I mean my w doesn't want any more kids and I'm going to spend the rest of my life with her, right?
Sometimes it's so hard to just not think that they are doing things just to pi$$ us off. That to not understand that what they just said or did would be mucho hurtful to us they would have to have less than 1/2 a brain, right? Well, they may or may not know that they are hurting us. I think sometimes they do but they just have made us into such monsters in their heads that they just don't care. Mostly I think they are so very deep into themselves that they really don't know that they just kicked us in a very tender place.
I think one of the reasons I was so worried about you maybe changing the way you deal with GUBU a few days ago was because I was worried that if you did try and it failed you might get really angry because, like it or not (and we ALL do it from time to time) it set you up to "expect" a certain outcome because you did it. I'm still struggling with not having ANY expectations, even just as simple as my W doing what is best for her kids, of my W any longer.
Glad to hear that things are going better today. Hang in there GGG. If I was close enough, I'd come out and give you a hand with the animals!
