Today is a beautiful day and after a decent night's sleep, (better living through chemistry!), I am full of fresh determination to keep my PMA actively working for me.
Yesterday was tough and I found myself in a dark place. It hadn't happened like that in so long I'd started thinking I was past that.
Boy, was I wrong!
Guess I'm human after all, just with Super-Human Gumby aspirations! ------------------------------------
Today I will exercise in more productive ways, like taking leaps of faith, working out my brain with hard-core DBing/problem solving, paving the road home, and sweeping my side of the street until it's worthy of a postcard----instead of jumping to conclusions and spinning like a dervish.
GUBU will do what he will. He will continue to hurt me, intentionally or not. He will try my patience and test the limits of my sanity and strength.
One of the main reasons I never had kids is because I never wanted teenagers!! For this very reason!! If they'd stop developing before puberty, I probably would have a passel of little GGGs right now. -----------------------------------
Gratitude: That I don't have children. This would be so much harder. At least I know that at the end, if I no longer want to be exposed to GUBU's antics, I can end the experiment and never visit the Petrie dish again. He won't even get my phone number. Clean break.
Gratitude: That I have a roof over my head, plenty of animal and DBing pals to talk to, and I have no need of a gym membership to stay fit!
Gratitude: There is no one here to tell me what to do, criticize me, hurt me. I can go completely dark and shut it all down... I opened myself and my heart a little to GUBU when he offered me that beer and we had such a nice chat... I left myself vulnerable and immediately was hurt. I had an expectation. I didn't realize I'd had one until the pain came. Things seemed better, we were back to talking and texting, smiling... What was I thinking?
Gratitude: I have choices. If I decide it's what's best for me, I do NOT have to stay here and do this if I feel it is harmful to my well-being. And my well-being is my absolute #1 priority now. Much higher than anything else, and certainly much higher than any R with GUBU.
Gratitude: I am still Gumby Goat Gal, Triple G, triple threat. True, I can intimidate a lot of men. But there are plenty our there who would not only love me, but admire me for all that I am, instead of try to diminish me so they feel better about themselves. Men who are emotionally healthy. I deserve that in a R. If not, being alone is much more appetizing than being with GUBU.
Gratitude: I have a great life aside from the GUBU sitch and I am my own worst enemy when I allow him to create negative thoughts in my head. I control my head and therefore, my emotions.
I am going to focus on what's going right for me, and pay no attention to him over there, making a mess of his sandbox. If he throws any cat turds into mine, I'll just scoop 'em out and keep building my beautiful sand castle!
-------GGG Who has "THE POWER"!!!!
Me 54 Him 63 M 23 T 29 0 Kids Funny Farm of Rescues 12/12 OW-- 5/13 ILYBINILWY: A denied 9/13 Proof OW: ENDED 2/14 Got D papers on my BD I kicked him out for my sanity 9/14 He wants to "talk"?
