Finding my way - part 4

[Meghan]

Since there's been a lot of talk recently about partners walking away who are unable to acknowledge or deal with their issues, I was wondering if anyone had any thoughts of coping with feelings of "I wasn't worth it".

This is something I've been struggling with recently. I've felt - for awhile, I guess - like I was only worth putting in a minimum of effort. He'd try his hand at writing from home, but wouldn't take a job that he felt was beneath him or didn't pay enough. He'd do the dishes and the laundry, but not vacuum or mop.

These were things that I mentioned as part of my complaints about feeling like I had too much responsibility. It felt like not a lot happened, though. The writing and some extra housework like making bread were the result, but it didn't feel like a lot at the time.

I also didn't feel like I was worth doing things with. It was difficult to get him to get togethers or to events. On Saturdays, my one consistent day off, he'd often sleep until sometime after three, so we wouldn't really do anything together.

And now that he's left, I feel like I wasn't worth working on things with. I know he feels like he's put in excessive amounts of time and effort already and can't put in any more. I also know he feels like this is the only way for him to be happy.

It's a crushing feeling that you weren't worth someone doing things with or for you, particularly around stepping up and trying to fix things that went wrong. I guess the question is, do you feel like your partner didn't think you were "worth it", either during the relationship or after they walked away? And, if so, how do you deal with those feelings?