barely holding on - 2

[u-turn]

Last nights exchange:
I was look at this site on my phone when my W walked up behind me and my reaction was to turn my phone over. She was taken back by this and said "you can do what you want" I asked what she meant and she said "you need to do what you need to do". she then left.

I texted her a message that said

I am actively trying to improve myself, look deep and improve my faults. So I can become a better person. This is something that I want For myself and hopefully us. This is what I am doing.

If you think that I am hiding something or telling you lies, you are mistaken.
Just ask me.

(I didnt send this but it is my draft yet (probably wont send):
and by actively, I mean digging deep into what I feel that I am or was lacking, researching, and following a program for self improvement. I am making real changes in myself that I can feel and I am proud of.)
I probably shouldn't send that one. maybe just leave that alone. thoughts?

Later in the night she came home and sat by me

m: what did you mean by I need to do what I need to do?
W: if you want a divorce you are free to do that
m: I know
m: that is not what I ultimately want.
m: is it what you want?
W: No
m: You are free to make your own decisions too. You are not trapped
W: I know I am not trapped
m: Something need to happen though
W: I know

This may not seem like much to anyone else, but this type of conversation hasn't happened.

I don't know where it will lead, but I will step back a little now. I don't think it is good.