Quick to listen, Slow to speak

[holdingon]

Well, I continue to be holdingon... really trying to live life by looking at the positives... funny, it really does make your life seem so much MORE positive. LOL Why did I never notice that before??

One thing I have noticed that we LBS do is watch the clock. Maybe especially us women... of course we are encouraged to do so by counselors, some R books...

But I think we really do ourselves a disservice. I wonder if the WAS has a clue about how long they have been doing what they are doing. Maybe they do, who knows. But I know I get all paranoid thinking, "oh my gosh, I've been S almost a year" and I don't think the calendar really has that much to do with the MLC healing. I think it is just one more obstacle for us to overcome.

Well, I keep on my journey... and hopefully, H is keeping on his. Maybe one day we will meet up, and have lots of stories to tell of our time apart on our respective travels. In the meantime:

1. I pray to God to remove the "video tape" images from my memory bank... yea, you all know the ones that play over and over, especially when we are experiencing low PMA.
2. Stop worrying about the calendar. When he comes home, he comes home... until then, it IS what it IS.
3. Keep having FUN.
4. Keep connecting with friends and thinking about THEM.
5. Try to DB my S16 who acts very much like my WAS... how frustrating. And when I talk to my S, I am not proud of what comes out of my mouth, and it scares me to think I can STILL talk like that... I though DBing cured me of that.Oy
6. Keep reading, praying, reading, praying
7. Remember just how far I have come. I mean, I am EATING and I SLEEP SOUNDLY without medication. Just those things are a vast improvement over a year ago. I am independent. I am going out A LOT with friends. I am traveling with kids BY MYSELF. I am working on working full time next fall... I LIKE ME.
8. Stop thinking about H, stop analyzing H, realize H is in a BAD place... someday he will figure that out.

Thanks all, for your continued support here. Someday we should throw Michelle a party.