Thanks, BF, I KNOW!!!!! Omg it was comical...especially, "is it a sex thing"??? -__-
There were so many really good comebacks and responses in my head that I had to hold back.... Omg.
I won't do this again. I don't need to anymore....curiosity satisfied. This was one of the longer exchanges we had, so clearly it was bothering him. And that was fine with me that he was bothered.
If this conversation was a drinking game, and people had to do a shot every time he said, "dating", they'd be HAMMERED!!!
Side note: Lies....LIES, I SAY!!! 1. There isn't a real fishing trip. 2. I happen to know H dad is out of town.... 3. Ow car was in front of house tonight (not snooping, we live down the street). I knew this going in and didn't care. H had me over the last 2 nights, so I'm guessing ow was getting a bit suspicious....LOL. And tomorrow..... She has to be wondering why he's suddenly not accessible. It's just funny. And I want him less now than ever....and he's kinda bugging me. A lot.
H saw my bra strap (new bra, new color) a couple of nights ago. I could tell he was noticing and he actually did comment....."oh, THAT's new". (Not to mention I have lost 4 sizes of clothing, I may actually need a new bra....). A few comments about the fact that I never did blah blah blah when we were together etc....(even tho I did, he's rewriting history).
So yesterday H had on the UGLIEST floral shirt that he never would have worn before. Omg it was the color of vomit and not good for his skin tone.... He hasn't pierced anything I can see so far, and no noticeable tats yet.... New glasses. Hair is much darker. Tanning booth a lot but last time he looked like he had spray tanned....orange. It's so sad because H is a really really sexy handsome guy and I loved his thick salt-and-pepper curly head of hair..... Now it's super short and almost black.
The time I see H isn't romantic at all. Not even sexy. We hug, snuggle, smooch a little but I usually pull away first because it kind of bothers me. I can't explain exactly.
He talks nonstop.....he used to be a quiet guy. He talks about himself and brags. He used to be so humble and shy. Ick. That and I know he's lying to me all the time. Like everything. He must think of things to say to keep talking and just make stuff up.
He is not himself. It's difficult being around him, but it's helping me understand, and be able to drop the rope if/when the time comes. I have a sense that I will need to detach more after the house is sold and closed, and if he does move into his own place. Lots of decisions to make at that point. I don't want to be married to a single guy.
In fact I don't want this guy at all. I'm paving and detaching in hopes that real H is under there and listening. If we never have a marriage relationship again, I still want to at the very least, be his friend through this from the side. I am concerned about his previous suicide attempt. I can't stop him if he ultimately decided to do this again, but I can show compassion and friendship. And non-judgment. <<<<<THAT one is a hard 180 for me.
He was a good man to us for many years. Until he wasn't.
