Just an update...I thought long and hard today and I came to a decision. As wonderful as these past couple of weeks with WAW have been, as much as they felt so right, as much as we love each other...I had to put my foot down. I told WAW today that all of this rekindled passion and love we are sharing is really for nothing as long as she still plans this Florida move. I told her I think it's best we just stop, stop pretending everything is okay between us. It isn't going to do either of us any good if we're not reconciling. So I cut things off. I feel this is best, to nip this in the bud and just stop it all.
I told her to always know that I tried to save us, with every ounce of my being I tried, but that I am exhausted from fighting and that I am surrendering, that I have no more fight left in me if only one of us is fighting. I told her we should just let it go at this point.
I need to see a real initiative on her part or we just need to stay away from each other. That's how I see it. We've tried to stay away several times over the past couple weeks but ever since the court date for the divorce obviously we both failed. Either she'd contact me to get together or I would contact her, things would get out of hand passionwise...we were both at fault for allowing things to happen that have.
So that's where I'm at, I'm sick and tired of pretending everything is good between us. All of it means nothing unless we're trying to get back together. I told WAW that if that's not the case, and it isn't as long as she plans this move to FL, that it stops now. She understood and said she's sorry for letting me down, that she has to make this move for her and that she will always love me and always respect me and that if I ever needed her for anything at all to please contact her. I didn't reply to her last message and I'm not going to. Time to go back to NC and back to my own life and give up the ghost, I've had enough. I know she'll regret this one day, but I just don't have anything left in my gas tank to fight with...I'm tired of it and I just need to stop now.
So that's it folks, that's where I'm at. I figured I might as well stop delaying the inevitable. So WAW and I are done. I feel I did the right thing, as hard as it was, I really think I did the right thing.
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Just got a text from WAW...I never replied to the last one but here's what she sent: "When I get my head on straight again when I'm in FL, I'm coming back after you like gangbusters. I promise you that."
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
I don't really think anything of it really SS. As I said, I am in "show me" mode. The rest is all talk. Show me or shove off. I'm not doing this anymore. It's ridiculous...she did EVERYTHING that you would have thought needed to happen a few months ago in my posts. 4 months ago she said ILYBINILWY, last week she admitted that she is in love with me and she never thought that feeling could ever come back. Two months ago she thought OM was the greatest thing since sliced bread...then it went bad and now she can't stand him, he can't stand her (she read me one of the texts her sent her...OH MY is he a real creep.) She was so sure she wanted a divorce and then she admits last week that she regrets divorcing me and she thought the court date would take much longer to arrive. She has even admitted to me that she wants to reconcile but that she needs time. So it's this FL thing that really is the nail in the coffin for us though...but she insists she needs to do this for her sanity. Everything else seems to be okay, she acts nothing like the cold WAW she was, she is the real person again now...just messed up. So in answer to your question...that text to me, if I was to reply to it which I am not, would get a sarcastic reply like..."that's great, and I'm sure I'll be sitting here on the couch marking off the calendar waiting for that day to come." So I don't think much of it. If she wanted us to work out bad enough she wouldn't be moving. That's how I see it...so that text to me is just meaningless words at the moment.
Last edited by ItHurts; 08/15/1404:16 AM.
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
"When I get my head on straight again when I'm in FL, I'm coming back after you like gangbusters. I promise you that."
Funny how all that crazy talk sounds when you read it out loud.
My sentiments exactly...useless words.
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Okay now I don't know what to do. I have been in NC now for a couple days. Some people close to our situation are telling me that only I can stop this move to FL. From my point of view however, there is nothing more I can do that I haven't already done. Some women I've spoke to who know about the recent goings on with my WAW say they don't think she'll really go through with it, that she still has doubts. So I toss this out to you guys...what should I do? I am so confused at this point. Should I keep "dating" WAW or am I correct in telling her that we really have nothing left to talk about if the FL move is still on and staying NC. I don't know what to do now. I know if I called her and asked her out she'd probably go or meet up to talk, but is that really what I should be doing?
Those of you familiar with my WAW through my posts here, I could really use your advice. I am not going to anything until I hear what you all have to say. Time is ticking away here and I need to make sure I do the right thing to give me the greatest chance of stopping the FL move.
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Can I ask why the FL move is so crucial to stop? Just because of the distance? Are you eager to get started on repairing things BEFORE she does the work she claims to have to do in FL?
Well SS I just feel as if once she moves there it's going to be a long, long time before she comes back here. I mean she will likely be here to visit her family for the Holidays and such but other than that I feel like she's "gone" once she moves there. Reconciling will be impossible. I guess I don't fully understand why she needs to move there. The more she explains it to me, the more confused I get. She just says it's important to her and that she needs to do it for her. I just feel as though once she moves that far away it's truly over.
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
I also want to mention what makes this hard is a lot of people around here who know WAW are telling me that I really need to be spending as much time as I can with her now. Of course this is the complete opposite of NC so I just don't know. She is different now, she's not that cold-hearted WAW, instead she is "herself" but incredibly devoid of any self worth and/or self esteem. She is completely ashamed of herself. She thinks of herself as "disgusting." So I don't know, part of me thinks I should try and spend a lot of time with her...however a bigger part of me is saying stay in NC. Time is of the essence here and that's really what's causing me the stress, I have a deadline of sorts because even though it's probably possible that we could reconcile even if she's down there...that just seems implausible to me. You have to see each other. I am so exhausted over all of this.
Last edited by ItHurts; 08/17/1412:34 AM.
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
