Saving my marriage by Focusing on me (Part 3)

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"I was a real deek head. But that is still no excuse for an affair."


whether or not its an excuse is irrelevant and open to judgement. you can determine what is an excuse only for your behavior, she gets to decide whats a valid excuse for her behavior. it would be easy enough for her to say the same for your deek head behavior. you can go around and around forever.

the point is, you can only truly judge yourself and your actions.

and the reason for this is you do not know what she felt while you were being a deek. or how long she felt this way or how much it hurt her.

you can only apologize and deal with the consequences and take responsibility.

You and Claire are 100% right!
I love her and loved her no one should be treated that way.

I have been in tons of therapy and I don't have the ability to treat anyone that way ever again.

I guess what amazes me is that I know OM treats her far worse than me when they re in spats. Even the MC says my WW seems to see abuse as love.

I have tried to change that I have apologized over and over. I have treated her as she should be , do I mess up sometimes? Yes I definitely do, not with emotional abuse etc, but if can just feel it in my bones when I have, but like I said it's been a long time.

I really want to thank all of you for supporting me through my forum and helping me to see the truth...