Feeling stronger than ever

[Ssarah]

MLeigh you too give me hope. I'm only 4 months into this but am already doubting that my H will ever turn the corner. I know my H is having an A and that part stings the most. That's what always throws me off course and gets me to doubt that I'll ever make it through. He says he just needs to go out with his "friends" and that he can't stay home but I know where he is and who he's with and that's what I focus on. If you want my opinion (okay I'll give it to you anyway ;-)) don't go through with the PI unless you absolutely feel you have to. Looking back, the less I would know the better. The easier this would all be on me and the stronger I'd be. With everything new thing I find out, I get knocked down and depleted. And really, those things happened and I can't change them so if I plan on standing I will have to look the other way regardless so why know. If you decide your heart isn't in it anymore then all those secrets help you rationalize why you didn't give it a chance, otherwise they serve no purpose. I guess that's why everyone tells you not to snoop and only focus on you and the kids. That's the only way you can get through this in the long run. Now if only I could take my own advice :-)