If we had children and Friday and Saturday nights were his nights to be with them so I could have a life, would it be OK for him to say: "I'm not coming."? Period.
GGG, He probably would say the same thing if you had kids. Many do, including my h. Quite frankly, he does not care if you have a life. He only cares about his own life right now. You need to carefully consider how you want to handle this. Maybe it should be settled legally. That's a tough route to take, but it may be the only option.
In order for the dynamic to change, you may have to take drastic measures. How badly do you want this situation? Do you want to be solely responsible for all of this? What if you left and started something new on your own? I'm not saying this is the right choice, but it is time to start thinking outside the box.
Don't let him get to you, GGG. He does not care right now. It probably makes him feel empowered that he can do whatever and know that you will be there to take care of all the responsibilities.
Think carefully what you want to do. You have the power to change the dynamic of the situation.
