I slept through the night! That is such an accomplishment. I can't control sleep. I have been waking up in the middle of the night and have been exhausted. It has made me more emotional and less able to handle everything going on. Seeing the therapist and knowing that she and I will work through this has just lifted a huge weight.
stbx left for the night for work travel. We are still living under the same roof. After yesterday's appointment, it really has made it easier to be a parent with him as opposed to a romantic partner and parent. He is an involved parent and does a lot with the kids.
Today before he left, the subject of therapy came up. I was honest with him about how serial cheating was described to me as emotional abuse. We had a very healthy discussion about it. He is going to therapy the week after next. I told him I harbor no ill will towards him. I want him to be a good parent for my kids. However, having people work with me and help me realize that I chose to stay in an abusive marriage has brought me such a relief and sense of hope for my future and I am finding myself really feeling stronger and stronger. He knows I grew up in a physically and emotionally abusive household. My father beat my siblings. He yelled at me constantly but I always ran and hid from the physical as a child.
I've got this. I know I do. It is just going to take a while....
