Saving my marriage by Focusing on me (Part 3)

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"If I 180 her and ignore her she tells me I am hurting my Sons..."

yes, if you're being openly spiteful about it then she has a point. although she's ignoring her actions and their affect on your sons.



its all about You and how you handle yourself. Keep in mind that regardless how this ends up, you have to live with your actions. you dont want to add guilt to what you have to deal with.


you can move on without ignoring her. its a delicate frame of mind. but its part of dropping the rope. you can be polite, friendly, etc and at the same time just not care. act as if she were a paying renter living in your house.


there came a point in my sitch when i realized i was done, i could not and would not put up with her affair/lies/disrepect any more. and so i made the decision that it was over. regardless if she had a change of heart, I was done.

it was only then that i was able to begin to truly move on. and while there was still plenty residual pain, it was the beginning of healing. when the divorce happened i smiled and happily signed and was glad it was done. i look at her now and dont understand why i believed she was "the one".


your mortgage situation is not strange, its probably the most common. most spouses share the mortgage. while you shouldnt "kick her out", you can live your life in a way she understands she lost you.



"I am thinking of telling her I am done, that I will but her out of the house."

I would not tell her this in words. tell her in actions. make the decision in your mind, then show it in your attitude. no need to say anything. and no need to get her out of the house, that will happen in time.

Thanks Ken...

This is an excellent commentary.

Her attitude and behavior the last days, actually the " wife" I remember started to show, and you know what it reminded me why I was getting ready to leave about 5 years ago!..