I know what you mean Wonka. I nearly fell into that trap early on where I felt I was starting to become her "gay boyfriend". She shared with me A LOT about him, his family, and their relationship.

I cut that off shortly after and established the following boundaries.

1. No texting/e-mailing/calling in front of me or the kids.

2. No bringing OM to the house.

3. No discussions about the status of her relationship with the OM (I don't want to hear about it). Of course, if she has been hurt or is in danger (and the OM is involved), let me know.

4. No exposing our children to the OM.

M: 15 years
BD: 6/25/14
EA/PA: starts 5/14/14
11/30/14 - A ends
5/15/15 - D is finalized.
11/28/15 - Start of new LTR with a wonderful woman (and still going strong)!