GG, It's good to rant and get the anger and frustration out of your system...but you have to understand that even if he's 63, he's still trying to find himself, i.e., ordering Viagra and on dating sites. Yes, many of them do this because they are afraid of getting old and want to prove to themselves that they've still got it. They really do have some inner issues that none of us can understand or fix. It takes time for them to work thru those issues and no, you will not always see them working on themselves because much of the problem is within. There are no bruises, cuts or scrapes to indicate the healing process. We just have to learn to sit back and allow the man above to heal them from within. Healing is taking place all of the time.
They do see us and the relationship as the "problem". Why? Because we are part of the past that he thinks was the issue. Until he finishes up his cheeseless tunnel work, he won't begin to understand that you and the relationship were not the problem. Yes, he's blind as a bat and is hitting walls all over the place running and trying new things. Hopefully he'll eventually hit that one wall that will knock him back into a sensible individual, but it's going to take a long time to find that wall.
Trust me, I know and remember how I felt many years ago when my xh was out there acting out. Bottom line, your man has to go back to the age where he was emotionally stunted so that he can grow up. Apparently he didn't navigate his quarterly crisis situations very well and now he's facing the big MLC.
Find plenty of physical things you can take your frustration out on today. You need to get it out there and then let it go. You'll feel so much better when you've released all of that anger.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
