barely holding on - 2

[u-turn]

We always did things for the kids together without issue, birthdays christmas, special occasions. But then we downplayed each other. We didn't get each other christmas presents (we felt it was for kids). We didn't do much of each other's birthdays. Mothers day is important to her and I did drop the ball there in the past.
S16 birthday next
W birthday in October - Is it buying gift, buying love, if I get her something for this year's birthday?

I want my changes to be real and feel real to her.