I am actively changing this - finally realizing how this has taken a toll on me and her. Even as things are I'm finding that this PMA thing works and makes me really feel good and is contagious.
It really does! Whenever I am around an enthusiastic person it seems to pep my own energy & interest. Same is true with people who are in a good/happy mood. It can be a challenge when living in a stitch like your, but that's why the PMA has to come deep within. You can't allow your mental attitude to function as a reactor to her moods or actions. Think of your PMA as a role model for your family. Your children, especially, need to see the correct way an adult conducts himself in the face of tension/turmoil in his personal life. Your W may respond positively or she may try to something else.......but I find it to be self defeating to be in a bad mood around a pleasant person.
Quote:
I think changing things that I actually like about myself wouldn't be good because these were also things that she liked about me.
Well of course you shouldn't change the good to worse.......only to better, if possible.
So who has the next birthday? Was she referring to just her BD or the kids too? Did you join in with working their parties, or left it all to her? What would she usually do for your BD or other holidays?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
