Dating, texting and more texting

[JCJ]

Hi all,

I have a question which I am finding puzzling about dating.

I am really struggling on the dating thing because guys ask me out and then text me incessantly. Like, all day. 30+ messages a day.

So I try and make an effort and text back, trying to space out the texting with gaps because a) I am very busy and b) it is very annoying, and they get huffy that I am a 'bad texter' and then they assume I'm not interested. We haven't even had a proper date yet!

It's not that I am not interested or I wouldn't have given them my number, but the texting puts me right off. One guy even stated calling me 'babe' over text. Babe!!! We'd had one conversation and he was calling me babe?!

I question myself as to whether I am just too used to being independent but suddenly having to describe me day in minutiae as it happens over text is a shock to the system when I am used to being entirely unaccountable. But between meeting these seemingly nice guys and them asking for my number and the first date there are all these texts then that puts me off the first official date.

Has anyone else found this?? This has happened to me 4 times now (I only started dating again recently) and I can't seem to get passed this.

Thanks

[whatisis]

Hey, I'm a guy and women have given me their number to text and I might text "have a great day" but I would never text someone 30 x a day or more...that's kind of nuts! I guess just be glad you've discovered this before meeting them. Is there any way of with holding your number for a bit and just messaging? Although my experience is that woman who are interested want to get you offline real quick. unfortunately, the dating world is full of God's whole gamut of creations! Wow, and I thought I looked desperate for texting right back lol.

[JCJ]

Well, only one of these guys I've met online. The others have been in person, like at cycling club, through friends and a singles night. They've all done it.

I'd say, I prefer to just meet them because you kind of know then whether you like each other or not and that's why, if I'm online, I prefer to just meet guys, purely because I don't have time to message that much.

I thought it was just a one off thing but it is reoccurring. I just wondered if texting is the new dating!

[whatisis]

the first text I ever received in my life was from a woman I was seeing. I asked a co-worker why my phone was making this funny buzzing noise...and she told me I was receiving a text. Huh? The lady was texting me from a doctors appointment and she was bored. My co-worker had to show me how to reply to a text. What a stud, eh lol.

[Wonka]

Froggy, you are a true Luddite!!!!!

[kat727]

Hey Jula! Maybe you could let them know that you are pretty busy and while you want to date you dont have time to text very often. Say it right up front. If they aren't ok with that, they aren't for you.

Hope everything else is going well.

kat

[whatisis]

Hey, maybe us guys like texting because it means we don't have to put more than one meaningful sentence together at a time lol!

[Wet]

Hey, it's not just the guys. I met a woman on a dating website, and she was constantly texting me too. And there was a time (during my trial divorce) where one woman was texting me, another was instant messaging me on the computer, while I was on the dating website. It helped me to see that a divorce was not the end of the world.

BTW, I cancelled my date with Miss Texter just because of her constant texting.

[whatisis]

Wet, did you dump her by texting lol?

[Wet]

No, by email which still seems wrong.