I'm with you on your last point. If I was being really and truly honest with myself, I'd say my ex probably has been physical with someone since the DB - given it has been nine months, and him not getting his needs met was one of our main issues. I'd like to think otherwise, but it seems unrealistic. However, because I don't *know* for sure, I don't let myself go there. If/when it comes to a R, I would need to know though, for the sake of being safe, sure, but also because - like you said - I don't want to wonder about the "what ifs."
In fact, your entire last paragraph pretty much sums up my feelings on the matter.. so, you're not alone!
Congrats on your cat. I have a plan to get a pet as soon as I am financially able, but when it comes to crunch time, I sometimes wonder if I'll have an issue since me and my ex talked relentlessly about getting a puppy together.
