My new little buddy has been keeping me pretty busy! This cat was actually adopted and returned twice because he was too shy and wouldn't come out of hiding. He came out for me though the first night he was here Probably helps it's just me and no kids! We've been working on playing, eating, and trying to get his fur in shape. He has a lot of knots and mats so he might need a belly shave... poor little guy. Having a pet makes me feel more settled. I really missed "our" cat and sometimes when I saw a shadow I thought it was her.. then remembered she wasn't here. I really can have a good life without H, if it comes to that. I have a place to live, I have transportation (old as it may be.. still no luck on the car search), food, a pet, a good job, and money left over for fun things. It will be OK, maybe even better than OK. It's not what I wanted, still isn't what I want, and I still feel strongly that our issues would be resolveable if H would be honest about what they were and want to discuss/work on them, but that's beyond my circle of influence right now.
Some of the ladies here have been talking about their H's dating lately and whether or not they should make that some sort of boundary or deal breaker, or even be able to ask. I guess I feel like it doesn't matter right now. H said he didn't want to be married so in his mind it's done, how can I tell him he can't date (or whatever it might be... hook-ups? eww) At this point I think I will only concern myself with it if we ever started talking/rebuilding our R again.. I just don't see myself being OK with never knowing what happened. I'd rather get it out in the open once and then leave it be, than always wonder what happened, especially given we had little to no dating history before each other. I still don't know if H actually getting physical with anyone is a deal breaker for me. At first I thought it wouldn't be, back when I was desperate and felt like I'd do anything to get him back. Now I'm not so sure. I guess I'll just be OK with "I don't know" on that one right now and ponder it if or when I ever have to..?
Me:30 H:29, no kids T:12, M:4 (when D was final) 12/13: "Don't think I want to be M anymore" 6/14: Separated (I move) 1/15: H filed for D 5/15: D final
Probably helps it's just me and no kids! We've been working on playing, eating, and trying to get his fur in shape. He has a lot of knots and mats so he might need a belly shave... poor little guy. Having a pet makes me feel more settled. I really missed "our" cat and sometimes when I saw a shadow I thought it was her.. then remembered she wasn't here. I really can have a good life without H, if it comes to that. I have a place to live, I have transportation (old as it may be.. still no luck on the car search), food, a pet, a good job, and money left over for fun things. It will be OK, maybe even better than OK. It's not what I wanted, still isn't what I want, and I still feel strongly that our issues would be resolveable if H would be honest about what they were and want to discuss/work on them, but that's beyond my circle of influence right now. 