so today I was reading the DB book, read a few threads and came out of it with a new perspective. I have basically been allowing WAW to have her A .. not bring it up .. and jsut be the #2 optn and she knows it.
So today I did a GAL 180, she TM that she would be working a little late, its her night with S ... I told her that was fine, so when she showed up 30 minutes later I was dressed and leaving at the same time. She wanted to talk so I asked her what was up ... she asked why I am treating her differently (the detaching thing I assume) I told her I did not feel I was treating her differently .... then she asked if we could be friends and I took a deep breathe .. paused and she started reacting ... I asked for a moment and told her I could not be friends ... she made a choice to have the A, and as long as she intended to do that I felt it was disrespectful to me, out marriage, our family, our son, and her family ... I then said I need to go as I made plans (Just going to a friends for a redbox movie) WOW did this set her off .. TM she told me to go sleep around, brought up old garbage, and went into her usual rants ... I validated, told her I have already apologized for my part in this M, and have made some changes in my life and it was at this point all I could humanly do ... and left it at that
I hope this was a correct way to handle it ... putting on the spew jacket
