Bond unfortunatelly it was an abussive relationship, she its not worst of better for that, she just had a problem and I was in the middle of that so no matter what I could not help her with that issue. If all it took for her to be at a better emotional place was my pain, I loved her and I am willing to accept it. I was defensive with criticism due to a secondary effect of this relationship, I wasnt always defensive before I met her. Again I dont believe she did it on purpose, she took a toll for her father abusse and didnt knew better at that time, I really wish for her own happiness she doesnt treat her new boyfriend like that.
The 2 therapist I went thrue they showed me the abusse circle and helped me understand that it was impossible the communication due to her past traumas. My only therapist today has and still showing me many beautiful things about what is a healthy relationship in every field of life. The good thing and what makes me happy for her is that right after she divorced me her relationship with her family improved and she even went to Albania to confront her past. So even if I suffered at least she was able to be at certain level of peace with her abussive family and I am willing to take the pain I took if now at least she talks to them and solve her problems.
I live in Oahu, in Honolulu, I work in a restaurant from the Hilton hotels and basically my issue today is that first, everyday I keep stressing myself because I dont know if to go cycling or go to the beach...everyday its sunny here hahahha
I an still single, havent dated nobody since january when all this happened, I am volunteering for the red cross here, and in general I am calm, zero ansiety and more at peace, it really helped to be at this forum when I did, despite that we dont agree always which its nice , its funny how when I have a complicated customer I go to my notes in the iphone and read your first posts, you showed me how to be fair with myself and thats a great lesson I could not learn if I didnt came here.
Oh one more thing.... And this is actually funny.... I applied to college for nursing and to the Honolulu Police department, if I dont pass the police test in october I will then start nursing
When the student its ready, the teacher will appear... Even after all this time the sun never says to the Earth, "You owe me." Look what happens with a love like that,It lights the whole sky.
