WAH & MLC? - EA/PA - Please Help

[Sam3]

Thanks for stopping by Starsky &
Train. Okay so for now I will file away my intel about the Internet searches.

I think the first question - armed with the information you now have - is if you feel your H and your M are worth fighting for.

Only you can decide that.

What are your non-negotiable, core beliefs? What can you deal with in a M? What CAN'T you deal with?

Sit with this new information for a day or two. Post here. I don't think I would send an e-mail, and I most certainly wouldn't let H know what all you know.

Thanks Train. I will sit on this. My initially reaction was "omg... He definitely has issues."
My core beliefs are that these things may not be deal breakers if presented individually but the combination of all of it together - it seems like it may be more difficult for me to overcome. Especially because he has said he will not quit his job - he wants to be there at least 2 more years.

I want to save my marriage. But I feel like this is another example of how my H had no boundaries previously and walked all over me. I feel like he knows I'm kinda stuck.

I feel very deceived. If this has been going on for 2 years or more than maybe he wasn't "rewriting our history" during bd when he said he has not been happy for years.

Right now, I live a comfortable life. My H is still taking care of things financially. (I check weekly. He does not know I check.) I live in our dream home that we built 2 years ago, I have money to do things. I stay at home with our 3 kids. I could easily just keep sitting while he does whatever he wants. OW, going to ladies nights, spending large amounts of money. But my "core beliefs" feel like this is wrong. For me to sit comfortably to see if & when he decides to be my husband again. (And I am GAL) I feel like doing nothing is turning my head to his behavior because he is still taking care of things financially.

I struggle with the quote "inaction is an action."
Can anyone explain this a little more to me? Sorry if I just don't get it.

Thanks again!