I don't love you anymore

[nova]

Well, I just had a very interesting interaction with my W. I have been sitting two of our cats since last week while she was away at a family reunion this weekend. She came by to pick up the two cats today.

When she first got there we chatted a bit, about how the cats did over the weekend, work. I told W about my potential job opportunity and that due to that we would likely have to hold off discussions about what to do with the house until I made up my mind about whether to take this position and move. She seemed kinda surprised when I told her I was actually considering moving out of state, and said congrats on the offer of the new position.

Then we had to wrangle the cats and get them into their carriers. That's when the fun began. The cats HATE being put into cat carriers, especially the one. We got the easier one first and together got him into the carrier. Then we tried the second. W was holding the carrier and I was trying to get him in. As we were doing thing, he caught me on the palm with one of his claws and cut me open from my finger to my wrist. Finally got him in the carrier, and then I ran upstairs to get first aid supplies and W came up and helped me patch myself up. Luckily, it just took the top layer or so of skin, so I won't need stitches or anything. Once she had me all bandaged, she got the cats and left. Like I said, one of our more interesting interactions lately. And it was probably me hearing things, but I thought I heard her call me "babe" when my palm was cut open and bleeding. But I'm just going to chalk that up to either me hearing things, or her just picking back up on an old pet name in a time when the crap hit the fan, and not read into it.

I definitely know that I am not completely detached. It's great to see her, but every time she leaves, I feel terrible. She was wearing my favorite pair of her jeans today. I miss her a lot still. But I'm having more up days than down, and I can put on the "I'm ok" face a lot easier when she's here. But I'm not quite where I need to be yet, so I just need to keep working.