To date, my adapted strategy has been working. I see movement to the "goaty" side of the Petrie dish! ------------------------------------ Last night we exchanged a long series of texts which he initiated. He talked about being "sad", amid stuff about the animals, projects, etc.
I just validated, stayed upbeat and supportive. I tried to end first, but I saw he sent me a text in the middle of the night that I missed.
"Peace Out".
OK, so ignoring the fact that this is weird stuff for GUBU to be saying, I'm looking at the fact that it was in the dead of night, and he was reaching out TO ME.
Unfortunately, I keep my phone on silent at night because I have so much trouble sleeping... --------------------------------
But first thing this morning I responded, saying that I just got the text... and just some chitchat about more estimates for the trees, etc.
Just keeping the lines open. ------------------------
Tonight he's been here doing the animals, and even though sometimes it's draining, I made the effort to be out briefly where he could see me.
I immediately get this perky "Hello!"... then we're talking about the trees, etc. Just neighborly stuff.
(I, by the way, am looking like super cute GoalGal in cutoffs and tank again... Nah... I always work around the farm like this!!!! I swear I feel like a Playboy centerfold from 1966. With clothes on. Anyhow, I KNOW he notices. )
Then he goes to his truck and brings me a cold beer (this is his "peace offering" and has always been a good sign.)
After declining to open it with his teeth, he found an opener for me and we drank our beers while watching the chickens.
I made sure to beat a quick exit, but this time, PER THE FABULOUS MS. WONKA, I said in a way that wasn't shutting him down: "I've got to get back in and see to our aging blind pups... they're probably ponging off the walls while I'm out here. Thanks for the brew, talk to ya later! Oh, and I'll let you know when I hear about the other tree estimates."
Very upbeat!
YAY ME!
I think my strategy is now better tailored to my sitch. It also helped reading that Starsky said that "talking to him about work" is NOT PURSUING. "Fishing" for info or using work questions as an excuse to be in touch is not the same thing.
I feel better knowing that being in touch, being friendly--is NOT PURSUIT.
----GGG Keeping it real.
Me 54 Him 63 M 23 T 29 0 Kids Funny Farm of Rescues 12/12 OW-- 5/13 ILYBINILWY: A denied 9/13 Proof OW: ENDED 2/14 Got D papers on my BD I kicked him out for my sanity 9/14 He wants to "talk"?
