So today, aside from doing all of the laundry from having the kids camping, I'm trying to work up a plan to persuade the district folks in charge of student transfers to commit to allowing my son to transfer before the first day of school. I'm doing something similar for our d17 b/c of a bad situation she had last year. Though it's a drag, it's not exactly draining me. So I doubt that is what is really bothering you. I mean, this is a "normal life" thing...right? I already did laundry and prepared tonight's dinner...
So unless the laundry and a school form are a lot more than you typically do in a day (not saying you were tooting your horn, but it did not sound like any big deal, then I wondered if it was, for you...?) So I was asking - what is REALLY bugging you b/c I doubt it's this "day to day" stuff.
This summer is starting to wear on me. I so badly just a hug or something from my W. She has been nicer and I think will consider starting the road to recovery if we can get this school thing dealt with, but I so badly need warmth or affection.
Well...first, Did you say you read "Co Dependent No More"? It would probably be helpful to you b/c I think you link your day to day joy and happiness with your perception of your wife's approval of you. IN fact I know you have...and I hope you will work on that, b/c Joe, it's NOT healthy, and Joe, I have to share something else with you...
you do not sound manly or strong or confident, when you speak that way; you just sound really needy, clingy, too lonely & immature to bring much to the table and in short, that's a really big turn off.
I don't mean to be a bitch to you at all. I truly apologize if that hurt you
(though I do hope it woke you up a bit).
See, like my h, I'm am Army veteran. Also obviously a military wife and my h & I have been apart for several months at a time, more than once, INCLUDING when one of us is in a combat zone. First Gulf War and then more recently in A-stan. I was gone for 4 months once, with ZERO contact with ANY family...SIGH
Later, When h was gone to A-stan, I always had a free floating angst about real life & death danger to him, and it was nearly 24/7 fear eating at me.... not to mention fleeting thoughts about OW's and affairs (war brings out intense feelings and that can lead to flings).
As for hugs & affection (and sex)...? Joe, my h was in A=ghan for 18 months with a single 2 week break therein.
No...we did not get / give many hugs to/from each other. But we handled it. I don't think he had an A and I KNOW I didn't and I also know I had a lot of opportunities to do so.
BTW SIDE NOTE---
(I was disappointed in how many men would pursue me, knowing h was away at war. It's wrong for a lot of reasons, but it seems like a betrayal of fellow citizens, a thing "no man ought to do to another man", you know? But I digress)
We got thru it. So can you. & You are not alone. Aside from a TON of marriages going thru rocky times now, there are couples who are torn apart for other reasons like I just mentioned.
So if I were to put this in "tough love" terms, I'd say "Grow up, man up, IT could be a LOT worse Joe, ETC.. and for a lot of us it HAS been worse."
My tank is on empty. I'll be OK, I'm just voicing how this is hard. GAL is goin OK, but not enough yet.
GAL more Joe...a lot more. (Did I give you my list of GAL?)
Work the DB program or the DB program won't work.
And get some perspective. A summer of no hugs...Joe, at least shes not yelling at you or banging on a door and cursing at you. Geez, how'd you survive all that if THIS gets to you so much?
You have more than one love tank. Go hug your kids and hug them back.
Sorry Joe but today, that's all I have for you....that and to ask how your IC os going?
You really are too dependent on your w. Even if the m were fulfilling, it's not fair to HER to place the responsibility for how you feel about life and yourself, all on her shoulders. (It's also not appealing, or healthy)
Do you get that? So what is another way for you to meet NEW & well adjusted folks? Do you make friends easily? IF so, Let's focus on that...(If not, let's focus on that even more, come to think of it).
oh, and here...HUGS ((((( )))))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
