Ready!!! Confuse Theeeeeeeeeeeee....(Pause)...CAT!

[LoisB]

Underdog, Thank you so much for the support, I really needed it today. :-)

Could actually use some more. I'm going to write out what happened with as much temerity as I am able.

I was just ripped open a bit by my mother and sis. I think I have a pretty good idea now of what's going on...the girls and I discussed it after.

I felt pretty alone though...This really hurt. And, I'm not sure I can completely see it clearly because of the hurt involved.

Here's what happened. I tutored this morning and went over to my mom's. I was still feeling a bit weird after last night's dinner, but wanted to see my sister. I guess this morning they had met Stepdad for breakfast and called D20 to join them. D20 really wants no part of Stepdad. He makes her feel creepy and I respect that. They used to have a good relationship, but after his affairs and so forth, it changed. So, he gives her directions on the phone and she is a bit short with him and doesn't end up going. Whatever...no big.

Well, we get to my mom's and someone makes a remark, probably D20, about Stepdad being weird. Mom jumps to his defense. I'm still feeling a bit of last night and sick of the silent tx on the weird dinner and I back up d20 by saying, "He's weird." Get a dirty look from mom.

So, we go in and I noticed that the girls and I were all a bit sensitive to the "suggestions" made by my mom and sis. We felt like the odd man out. My sister commented to D11 about needing earplugs...Mom says that we can't go too early to the concert...mostly mom stuff, but we were all just a bit sensitive today, probably because of the job offer, potential move, dissolution, One Direction concert, etc...a LOT going on!

Well, my sis gets upset because we are short. I'm grilled on whether I'm renting a car for New York, what the salary is, etc...all well and good. I get that they are trying to help...but, it's one thing after another. And, when I tell them the salary range I'm willing to accept, I get more unwanted feedback and more "suggestions" on how to negotiate. And, how it wouldn't be worth it for this amount and yadda, yadda...Their scared for me...I get it.

When I say, "Thanks, but I can handle this," sis says, "Why are you so defensive?"

I try to explain. She, then, turns the subject into my lack of contact with her. And, how I haven't talked to her in 2 months.

I say, "I guess I just feel a bit judged? or something?" I try to explain how I have this group of friends (here and home) that really support and encourage me in everything and with mom and sis, I feel like they are always telling me what I should be doing or that I'm not doing it right or I feel judged.

My sister goes off on this tangent about how she isn't judging, she just wants a sister and she tries with me and...D20 jumps in and tries to say that we are sorta in survival mode right now. And, I add that we are just trying to get through each day. And, she says, "Aunt x, I DO think you judge mom. You talk to me about how you called a few times and she was playing Mario and you wondered why she wasn't looking for a job."

Swell...Apparently, there were some conversations between D20 and my sis about my lack of a job last spring.

I try to defend myself.

Well, mom flips. FLIPS. Starts crying and saying how she has stepped up to the plate for me and this has been such a hard summer for her and she is angry about the blow ups that d20 and I have had at her apartment (something I do regret)...

Mom: "I don't care if you are in f===== survival mode. I think you are unkind."