Stimulus-Response: The Experiment Continues

[Nitty]

I often want to ask him:
"If you were GUBU's friend, what advice would YOU give him about how he is going about things?"

I actually had a conversation just like this with Mr. Gritty, before I learned not to have R talks. The background: we were friends with a couple whose female half is the BFF of OW. He's still friends with them, I'm not.

ME: If OW's BFF came to you and said, 'Mr. Gritty, I made a mistake when I married my husband! I really have these strong feelings for you, instead. And I want to explore these feelings with you.' Would you take her up on the offer?

MR. GRITTY: Of course not! That would betray both of them! I would never do such a thing.

ME: Of course not. And you would probably counsel her, say something like, 'I care about both you and your husband. He's a great guy. You're confused right now and about to make a mistake. Don't do it! You need to go to counseling, or see talk to your pastor, or something.'

MR. GRITTY: Damn straight.

ME: Yes, because you are a loyal friend. So how should our mutual friend, OW, have reacted when you went to her and told her you had feelings for her and wanted to leave your 33 year relationship with me and be with her instead?

MR. GRITTY: I can't talk to you! You twist everything around! It's not the same!