Roid, not sure if you've read any of my threads, but I feel your pain. I've been in constant confusion regarding OM and the status of their R. Was being told they were 'just friends' by W, but would see/hear things that led me to believe there was more. Just yesterday, W finally admitted to full PA.
All I can suggest is that you continue to work on yourself and don't get too caught up on OM/possible OM. It only takes the focus away from what you should be focusing on- making yourself a better person/H.
Snooping is typically looked down upon in DBing, but for myself, I felt I needed that information in order to make informed decisions on protecting myself and family. That's a personal decision only you can make.
