Like you - I didn't give much thought to my relationship in the first 21 years. Then the bottom fell out and I had to look at what I had. (The answer is: a mess. Who knew?)
I think the thing about DB is DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY.
My H is in MLC - I feel very strongly about this. Part of his problem is with validation. Never in my life have I heard someone say so loudly and clearly, "PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO ME AND SHOW ME THAT YOU LOVE ME!!!" And part of me wants to tell that childish part of him, "DUDE, if you want attention, then you have to play nicely in the sandbox!" But...oddly....since I haven't really been that great at validating him WITH WORDS in the past, that's what I've been called to do. Step up to the plate, and tell the man that he is awesome when he is awesome. Sit on the couch with him and watch soccer with him. Spend time with him when he's home rather than ignoring him. So - it's not DB to a tee, for sure....because it definitely feels like pursuit. But he's shifting to me and I see a big difference in his behavior. Whatever it is, it's working, I think.
MLP I can so relate to this. I'm glad to hear it's working for you. It gives me hope.
