lost and desperate

[Train]

It may or may not be cake-eating, but I think whether or not it is depends on you and how you respond to it. If you're just letting it wash over you and not being emotionally invested in what he's doing then maybe it isn't, and if it gets your hopes up and keeps you from detaching then maybe it should stop.

I agree with this completely. I would always use those types of situations as opportunities to show H my changes ... and that my life was moving on, too. However, I *did* set boundaries on him just dropping by every day if the purpose of him stopping by was hurting our kids and/or me. (For instance, after a couple weeks of him stopping by daily at lunch to move more things out, I told him it was important that he wrapped that up ... and preferably either when the kids and I weren't home, or when he'd given me notice so that the kids and I could leave the house.)